The Good, The Bad, and The Bumpin' Uglies 2003-07-28, 2:50 p.m.
AH-MER-RIKA AH-MAH-SING!
AH-MERIKA SO AHMAY-SING!
(copyright 1996 Matthew Jones)
The vacation, me likey. So. Much.
First things first...The Joneses United Privates States:
Wyoming and Montana have been added to the list. Idaho was also supposed to be added, but I DA HO for Montana so it got cut from the sleepover. Wyoming was a fine addition to the list, but Sweet. Fancy. Moses. MONTANA, the 25th State, was as fabulous as West Virginia was shite. For reals, it probably edges out something spectacular in the Top Ten of all-time Sexcapades. Mind blowing. But then mebe it was the mountain air. Either way, thank you, please, Montana.
Alright, The Bad. There's not much so I'll get it over with quickly:
-lost my cell phone
-destroyed my digital camera/camcorder by accidently dousing it with water
-suffered honest-to-Abraham heat stroke and vomited in front of fife dozen people (I ran up 400 stairs and about 600 feet elevation and then promptly discharged my lunch in front of a crowd watching elk.)
-spent a fair amount of time with Matt's family
All things considered, being out $2000 and losing my lunch and then my sanity, not so horrible. And totally worth...
Oh, Beautiful, for Spacious Skies:
-Nay-cha: They grow dem mountains large out west. I mean, serious. We had been in the Alps and those mountains, my previous favorite place before, only had 7,000 foot peaks. Actually, maybe they were meters. Whatever. The pernt being: GIGANTICO heights plunging down into blue blue blue lakes with bald eagles lazily circling above and moose drinking on it's shores. And waterfalls. And big blue skies. And hot springs empting into an ice cold river. And the hugest, fullest moon rising over the mountains and lighting up the yellow stone at night. And trees upon trees upon trees. It was all National Geographic and shit.
It was no secret before, but now I'm a Certified Tree Hugger. And I will kill the first man that displaces even a blade of grass in such a majestic place. For once, I am glad the government has claimed something for national use for surely I would have commit hari kari on the fool who got to keep all that magnificence to himself. But all in all, the sights had me constantly sighing or mouth gaping or just looking knowingly at Matt and Jenzy like, "Are you kidding me?" The beauty was surreal.
-Aminals: Why, dear Lord, did I not become a Forest Ranger? The injustice. Because I So. Want. to be an animal watcher. Everywhere you looked, something was moving: Moose, Elk, Coyotes, Fox, Bison, Deer, all creatures great and small. No wolf or bear, but just as well, since the chances of me being mauled are better than most. Simply, I was just awestruck at each animal's presence. I was also awed at people's stupidity. Like, yeah sure, walk right up to the wildlife, they won't gore you. Fools. We heard about a woman who put her baby on the back of a Bison. For real. Didn't work out too well for the baby. Mother has been charged with involuntary manslaughter. But seriously, folks, your ignorance is appalling, like asking, "So when do you let the animals out?" Jeez, thanks, now I'm embarrassed to be Homo Sapien.
-Peeps: Being with our friend Jenzy on the trip was just so fantastic, despite that we made her wear our matching cowboy hats for pictures and made her sing Wide Open Spaces fife thousant times. Basical: With her, it's so easy. And I'm finding that less and less nowadays. But honestly, I don't think the trip would have been as good without her because she, in herself, is a work of art to be admired.
Spent time with Garnette and Lads who are 7 months pregnant. I think this is my first close friend that is having a child. Oh, wait, that's not true, there's Marrie, but still. It's always been the four of us and now it will be the five of us, and it makes me extracited and weepy and nostalgic and hopeful all at once to see her baby hiccup in her big belly. The times, the are a changin'. For the better, I think.
I also met up with Medi, my college and just-after-college roommate, and while it was a mess of laughing and remember-whens, seeing how much she's struggling with cancer and her other ailments was hard to swallow. I hate not being in New York to be with her and how much she changes each time we meet up. Makes me remember to quit my bitchin' about life, when she holds life so delicately in her frail body. It's times like these that I wish I could turn back a hundred yesterdays just to see her vibrant and strong again, challenging everybody to an arm wrestle.
Then, some things are like I never left. Meeting up with Arch and another work friend, Vin, was just like I had been on vacation and haven't actually been gone a year. It was so natural and made me miss the old times and my good friends like these so much more. It felt good to feel social again, after such a long period of solitude.
And then, some things will never change. Andreas and I have reverted to 15-years-old all over again the last two times we've seen each other. It's a problem, but I don't mind.
All in all, Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away. Being back, though? Meh. As much as I tried to avoid Charlotte from the 3rd to the 26th, I'm now July's bitch. For a few days more anyway. Then, clearly, I'm gonna need another vacation.