Gulp!
2004-11-02, 1:39 p.m.

So, not surprisingly, I'm fur-reaking out. The last few weeks, I've been rabid with the Insta-Polls and the news coverage and the articles. I can't tell you the last time I have been so passionate about something. But it feels to me like I showed up late to the party, where everyone is already drunk, and I was trying to do shots to catch up. And then, all of a sudden, I'm plastered, and peeps be like, OK, you're annoying now so go away. And what's worse, even with all this madness, I wasn't able to turn a single person to The Light. *weeping in hands* This process has taught me a significant lesson, though. It's that I don't really believe in anything. So much of how I define myself is by what I don't believe in, rather than holding some absolute truths for myself. Does that make any sense? I mean, it's not like I have wet panties over Kerry. It's that I have The Burning Rage over the fucktard Bush and his evil minions. Similarly, I don't really have an idea of "spirituality," but I know that I don't believe in organized religion. You know? I think it's a problem to define yourself by what you aren't, rather than what you are. But I guess I just haven't figured that part out yet. See also: late to the party. If I had one complaint about Kerry over these last few weeks, it's that he spent so much time talking about Bush's innumerable mistakes that he didn't spend enough time representing himself and his ideas. But, in my preposterousness, I've overlooked any shortcomings or misgivings, because Kerry made so much more sense to me and I lost the reason to see them. I think it's like that with religion. People blindly and fervently accept beliefs, and the ones that aren't kosher with them, they simply ignore. And it was that way for me. Nightline, MSNBC, and CNN replaced the gospels of Paul, John, and Matthew, and I became a True Believer. And it feels good to feel strongly for something. But at the rate I'm going, politics will become my religion, and I don't know if I can be That guy. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I'm just sayin' that before I become That guy, maybe I need to figure out who I am first. That's all I'm sayin'. But Go Kerry! If Bush wins, then I just don't know what.

In order to curb the profuse sweating and jittery legs I'm currently experiencing, Ima focus on something else to take my mind away for a moment. (It would be a momentous occasion if Kerry wins.) OK, Halloween. (Bush winning would be scary.) This Halloween was the first one we spent in our house. (Think Democrats will take over The House?) In our last apartment, we had about 7 trick or treaters and then were left with nineteen bags of candy. (Candy...Dandy...Modus Operandi, yeah, fucking Bush with his M.O.!) So, since Matt and I have started a new workout program and eating regime (Saddam's regime, was it really an imminent threat?), we decided to get a few less bags (Baghdad). The problem was, we got a TON of kids (How many tons of explosives are lost?). After only an hour, I was handing out one miniature Reese's Cup to each kid, and they were looking at me like, "Gee, thanks for your generosity" and I was all humiliated by eight-year-olds. (most probably smarter than Bush.) So, we had to turn off our light, and hide in the bedroom (in the caves of Tora Bora) so it looked like we weren't home. I'm shocked (Shock and Awe) that our house didn't get egged. We'll have to do better next year ("America can do better"). Ahhhh, see? I feel so good having got my mind off the election for a sec.

OK, really, I have to stop thinking about it. It's not healthy when I have at least 12 MORE hours for le panique. OK, also Halloween? Just reminded me of these chicks in college who called themselves "The Witches." They were this supposed secret group that would "cast spells" on unsuspecting Frat boys in the college paper, somehow exposing what judheaded misogynists they were. Ohh, I don't remember the exact details but it was a very "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of thing and was a big hubbubaloo for a month or so. After people got over it, these Witches decided the best way to express their femininity and right to be free was to smear their menstrual blood across their foreheads. I am crapping you negative. So, maybe two dozen girls would go to class all funkified and thought this was a real coup for womankind. Welcome to liberal arts college! (Speaking of liberal, I think Kerry has quite moderate views overall, and I don't understand why he is painted as a blood-smeared liberal psycho).

Slummy Jelly
She's at it again.
Can't trust her on taxes.
Can't trust her to tell the truth.